1. Write an amusing post eight weeks from departure describing all those things you still have yet to do.
Make sure this post is light-hearted. While you do worry about lack of money, lack of organisation and lack of motivation, laugh it off anyway as something you’ll get done eventually.
2. Notice that it’s 3am and you’re still awake.
You have to get up for work in 3 hours. Why are you still awake? You toss and turn in bed for a while but nothing seems to work. Accept the fact that today will be a tiring day in work with many yawns. Repeat this whole process for the next five nights.
3. Realise that your appetite has gone on holiday.
You see yourself in the mirror there? Yeah, you’re looking good. You’re looking slim. Good for you; Working out and eating right.
Except you haven’t, have you? Don’t take all the credit. It’s your appetite. She’s disappeared for a while. Decided to go for a little pre-travel sunning.
Just succumb to the fact that while this fact is disturbing, at least you look good without any effort.
4. Wake up with flu-like symptoms.
Aching muscles all over your body? Headache? Short of breath easily? Feeling unbearably warm? (Even with the wind and rain lashing down outside?)
Trudge into work anyway. Speak to two passengers before throwing in the towel and signing yourself off for a sick day.
Once at home, confine yourself to your bed for the next couple of days.
5. While on sick leave, start thinking about all those things you still haven’t done. And the fact that you really don’t have that much money.
Wonder if there are alternative, cheaper accommodation choices for your TEFL course and let the fact that there aren’t consume your brain. Lose the ability to talk about anything else but this fact with your loved ones.
Develop a sick feeling in the back of your throat.
6. Break out into spots like a teenager.
Ensure that these aren’t just a cluster of spots in one area. Make sure these spots are evenly spread on every part of the face – like chickenpox.
7. Have Aunt Irma come to stay.
Because if there’s a perfect time to have your uterus go all Animal from the Muppets on you, it’s now!
7. Fall down the stairs.
Ensure this happens when the aches in your body are finally starting to ease.
Sprain your hand. Damage your coccyx so badly you aren’t able to sit properly.
8. Wake up with the stiffest neck of your life.
Thank Google for the fact that even though it feels like you broke your neck falling down the stairs yesterday, you didn’t.
9. Have a series of very public anxiety/panic attacks in the space of one day.
Reccommended places are:
- In the post office while delivering the items you’re selling.
- In your kitchen, in front of your mother, just before you leave for work.
- In your workplace, in front of your whole team.
- In the one-to-one meeting your team leader impulsively dragged you into to stop you freaking out your workmates.
- In your house once you arrive home from being put back onto sick leave by your worried superiors who can “clearly see you’re still not feeling well and are probably worrying yourself over taking too much time off to recover.” (Uh huh, yeah, that’s the reason.)
Anxiety attacks (or it could be a panic attack – I can’t tell the difference) should display the following symptoms:
- Uncontrollable and hysterical crying. (So much so that your make-up has turned you into a perfect blend of Alice Cooper and something from the Night of the Living Dead.)
- A racing heart. (The kind that makes you wonder whether it’s going to jump out of your chest a la Alien at any given moment.)
- Constant muscle tension all over.
- Shortness of breath.
- Shaking/Shivering. (Either one works and freaks people out to the point where they wonder if you’re having a fit.)
- Sweating.
Follow these steps carefully to ensure your pre-travel mental breakdown runs smoothly and efficiently.
Once mental breakdown has arrived, congratulate yourself by inviting your friend Jack over to numb the pain.
This is what we call 'Sexy.'
Oh bless! I don’t know whether to laugh or console. The post is very entertaining and humorous, but then I feel really bad if all that has happened.
Slow down, all will be done in time before you go. Think of the end goal of actually being where you want to be in life.
Haha You can laugh, hon. I’m feeling better mentally today which is why I can make fun of myself now.
It’s physically that I’m still having problems with – still achey all over! But I’ll live. 
I’m taking some of those ‘Kalms’ tablets now. Hopefully they’ll help me slow down properly.
Obviously your sense of humor is intact. It will all be wonderful, I just know it, because you are actually resourceful and brave! and you’ll look back and be amazed you were nervous! :–)
Awww, that’s so lovely of you to say, Jill.
Thank you. I do hope that one day I will look back and think, ‘What was I say so worried about?’
I am a horribly obsessive planner/organizer/worrier about potential problems, so I understand where you are coming from. But even I think you will be ok, because the thing is, you really can’t plan for everything. You’re going somewhere you’ve never been to do something you’ve never done, so how could you possibly plan for all of the contingencies or have it all worked out in advance? Even if you like knowing all of the details ahead of time (and I DEFINITELY do), sometimes you just have to do the best you can and accept that some stuff will just have to get sorted out later. So take a little pressure off yourself. As my dad says, as long as you have your passport and your glasses (in my case), you will be ok.
This is especially true because some things that are exceptionally difficult to plan from afar become quite simple to work out once you are actually in the place you are going. Esp. lodging related stuff.
I highly recommend long walks, listening to relaxing music, and yoga videos on YouTube to reduce anxiety. Rest and be careful!
soon you will be on the beach drinking fresh orange juice (best part of winter in Mexico!) and everything will be groovy.
“As long as you have your passport and your glasses, you will be okay.”
I love that, Rachel. I’ll definitely be using that as my mantra so thank you and your dad for that.
Oooh, fresh orange juice on the beach – I really can’t wait!
Thank you for your lovely and supportive words, honey. They really mean a lot.
Relax, relax, relax!!! Everything will work out. They always do, no matter how much we lose sleep, break out, hyperventilate, or all of the above. You will look back on all this one day and laugh at your silliness. Instead, journal, meditate, talk out your concerns, exercise and find other ways to get out your anxiety so that it doesn’t continue to make you ill. You WILL get through this and so be on your long-awaited adventure/dream of a lifetime. Just keep that end goal in mind!
Thank you so much, Michelle. Your words are so lovely.
I do hope that one day I can look back on this time and laugh and think, ‘What was I so worried about?’ and I’m starting to feel a lot better mentally again. The excitement’s starting to return. 
I am so glad! Focus on the excitement, and the scary parts will not seem quite as intimidating.
I’m torn between laughing and telling you that everything will be okay if you just relax. I’m a huge stresser so I know how it is, but sometimes we just need to let it go and stop worrying.
Hehe, it’s okay, Ryan. You can laugh.
I laugh at the stressball I’ve become lately so feel free to join me.
Admittedly, I laughed REALLY hard at this post! But, let me just tell you the motto I live and love by. There are two actually.
1. Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.
2. Everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.
Memorize those two sayings and live by them pre-during and post-travel
I absolutely love those mottos, Kyle.
Thanks for that. They really help make me feel better about everything.
Take a deep breath and you’ll be alright! You know what, you have to listen to a song to make you feel better: http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dzmwue6Jq4KA
Love that song! We can always rely on Bob.
Thanks, Nina.