The last couple of weeks have seen me playing a fun ‘counting down the days ’til Mexico’ game that has simultaneously thrilled and scared the hell out of me when I realise that date’s approaching.

During this time I’ve also managed to convince myself that I’m more or less “ready”: I’ve had a handful of travel vaccinations; I’ve got a big list of quotes from travel insurance companies; I’ve ordered the books I need for my teaching course; I’ve got my new lovely laptop, Ruby, to keep in touch with family and friends (and blog readers ); My passport’s good for another four years; My backpack’s ready to be stuffed full of randomage; I’m trying to keep up to date on Mexican literature, music and films; I’m halfway through shifting all the things I’m selling. See? How could I be more ready?

Except that I’m lying and I still have HEAPS more stuff to get sorted that have only just dawned on me this morning as I realised eight weeks from today I will be on a plane heading for Cancun.

Those travel vaccinations? I’ve only had two.

Those quotes from insurance companies? Great but I still need to actually call one back and buy a policy.

The books for my teaching course? I haven’t cracked any of them open yet to start studying.

And on top of that, these are the list of things currently running through my head:

The Technical Stuff

I mean, who wants to go half way around the world and not document it? It’s one thing to add a camera or five to your wishlist. It’s another to not actually have bought one yet and started practicing on how to improve myself as a photographer. On top of that, I still need a laptop case for Ruby, an external hard drive the size of a passport to actually keep my photos and important things safe, and a surge protector … because apparently my electric stuff is in danger of suddenly imploding in Mexico.

The ‘Woo! I’m a Traveller!’ Stuff

Case in point: travel insurance. I know exactly which company I’m going to go with. I just haven’t gotten round to picking up the phone and confirming that I liked their offer and, yes, I’d also like them to protect me for the next year or twenty.

I also need to pick up a sleeping bag … because I’m awesome like that and have no qualms about sleeping in the dirt, camping out, going on hikes … (Or it could be the fact that I stayed in a hostel in London last year that didn’t change the bedsheets and that is plain ICKY so it’s nice to know a sleeping bag could come in handy).

The ‘Oh Yeah, I Need to Support Myself’ Stuff

From November 7th I will be spending four weeks on a very intensive teaching course that will qualify me to teach EFL (English as a Foreign Language) all over the world. Guess who hasn’t paid for her course yet? And guess who only has two weeks to do that?

I also haven’t booked any hostels. Like, any. I have one hotel room booked at Gatwick but I can’t take the credit for that. My darling parents are staying overnight in Gatwick with me to see me off at the airport so it was them who did the reserving. *ahem* I guess I’m expecting … what? To turn up in Mexico and be greeted by a huge group of English-speaking chauffeurs, able to read my mind, ready to take me to my accommodation that my fairy godmother booked for me? I suck.

The Vain Stuff

At the beginning of the year I started exercising like a maniac and eating really well. As a result, I dropped a dress size and looked and felt great. I’m not going to lie – While I’ve been wanting to lose weight and get fit for years, a big source of inspiration came from the fact that the school I’m studying to be a teacher in is a 10 minute walk away from the beautiful Playa Del Carmen. For those of you not in the know, Playa Del Carmen looks like this:

Whereas my hometown beach looks like this:

Yup.

So I’ve never really done the ‘beach’ thing.

Granted, from one end of Aberavon beach you get a beautiful shot of the steel works our town’s famous for, but the other end isn’t that bad in the summer. It’s alright if you want to sit in the ‘sun’ for a few hours with your friends, get yourself some fish and chips in newspaper from Franco’s and grab an ice cream cone as you walk home.

But it’s hardly Playa del Carmen, is it?

So I want to do the beach thing properly and look and feel comfortable when I’m there.

It was going so well until I started my job. I was on the right track to losing weight and getting a (sort of but not really) beach body to be proud of. But then I started working overtime (need the monies for the travels) and my diet went to hell and my exercise regime became non-existent.

As a result, I’ve gained back just over half of what I originally lost.

So now that I’ve realised what a bad girl I’m being, I must put my good girl head on and get back into a healthy eating and exercise lifestyle that’ll make me feel good inside and out and raise my confidence.

Oh, and I have to be able to fit into this in eight weeks too:

Am I asking a bit much?

The Emotional Stuff

I knew that leaving my friends and family behind was going to be hard but I didn’t realise how hard.

Yesterday I met up with a whole string of friends I hadn’t seen in a while. They asked me how I was feeling about my impending trip but a large part of me was reluctant to really talk too much about it. Not only do I know that it gets old really quickly for people who get an earful of your blabbering but also I hated the idea that they wouldn’t be there if I wanted to see them.

It made me realise that I have wonderful friends living in the next city over and I should be taking full advantage of seeing the most of them while I can now.

Especially my best friend. She’s off back to university in two weeks time and while she’s only a couple of hours train ride away, I couldn’t help thinking about the fact that I won’t be able to visit her very soon. I kept teasing her about ‘leaving me to go away to uni’ but I think it was more a defense mechanism for the fact that I had to stop myself from weeping at the thought of being away from her in November. We’ve never been more than an hour away from each other in the eight years we’ve been friends.

And my family? Don’t get me started. Ruby doesn’t want my tears tonight.

These feelings of vulnerability were certainly unexpected. (But not really because everyone knows I’m a big sook and cry at the drop of a hat.)

So there you have it.

I’m pretty sure I’ve still left out a heap of things I should be panicking over. (Oh yeah, I still can’t speak Spanish but have a dictionary/grammar book that teaches me Spanish for Spain, not Mexico. *le sigh* )

But there you go. I know I’m probably going to have my panic attack and then go back to doing what I’m always doing: Sitting on my bed, staring mindlessly at a screen, watching old films that make me want to be in Tony Curtis’ arms, like, right now.

And then I’ll forget about all the important things I have to do until two hours before my flight. At least, that’s what my recent dreams have been telling me I’ll do.

~*~*~*~*~

To help me along the way to my new Latin American life, I’ve put a heap of my DVDs and books on sale here at Amazon. If you fancy any but don’t live in the UK, drop me a line and we can arrange something. Better move quickly. They’re going fast!